Oh. My. God... Sorry, haven't written in forever, been crazy around home. Mom is divorcing Dad!! Jake still loves me!!! Michael was a douche!!! Ugh. I won't be able to catch you up all the way, but I'll do my best, cause I'm home sick with nothing much else to do.
Okay, first with mom and dad. She finally got sick of him being such a control freak, and has moved into our basement. With me. Its complicated, and I don't really want to write about it, sorry...
Second. Jake!!! Okay, so I've gotten really close with a girl named Alissa. She's undead, too. Did I mention Alex has been ignoring me? Well... that's a whole nother drama. Back to Jake. Alissa knew how much I've been missing him, and she arranged to meet him at the mall last Saturday. I was celebrating my birthday with a couple of friends that I've made at school, and we were sitting at a pizza joint when she goes, "Dude, Jake's at the mall, but he's only got twenty minutes left to be there!"
At first, I didn't want to run into him, but then I said, "Lets meet him there." We got into my car (Yep, got my own now!!) and drove towards the mall. I texted him, saying "Hey, we're at the mall. Where are you?"
He said, "Sorry, just left, and I just pulled onto 75"
I sighed, "He's already gone, Lissa."
"Well, lets go in anyways. I wanna hit Sephora." She doesn't usually like it, so I thought that was a little strange, but I shrugged it off.
We walked into the mall, and a modeling company for the undead was holding auditions, so I dragged them over there. We signed up, and Lissa got a phone call. She said "No, we're right outside of Sephora."
When I asked if it was Jake, she looked surprised and said, "No, it was my mom. She's bored so she came to the mall."
I turned around to look in Sephora, and I did a double take. JAKE WAS WALKING OUT OF SEPHORA TOWARDS US!!! I screamed, "HOLY CRAP!!"and turned to Lissa. "YOU PLANNED THIS, DIDN'T YOU?!??" You're probably wondering why this was such a big deal. Well, after we'd broken up, he'd basically told me that he didn't want to be with me, because I was too young. We've talked a little since then, and he's always acted like he didn't give a donkey's butt crack about me anymore. Well, of course I've loved him this entire time. So, granted, I was mildly freaked out.
He grinned and looked at me, casually checking me out. I blushed and pulled the neckline of my dress up. Lissa had said, "Why don't we get a little dressed up, after all, it's your birthday?" So, I was wearing a white, knee length dress with a black cardi and flipflops. There. I was dressed up.
He had on a black t-shirt with the red Puma logo on it, and black cargo pants. He had on combat boots... Go figure. I said, "Hi."
We all talked for a little bit, me getting increasingly flustered the entire time. I dragged Lissa away from everyone else and gave her a little talking to about how much I was going to kill her if she ever did anything like that again.
Eventually, it wound up being just me and Jake. We were standing by the rail on the top floor of the mall, over by Belk. After a little while, he said, "You know, I never stopped loving you."
I nearly cried. "Jake, do you think I don't like you anymore?"
He replied, voice steeled, "It doesn't seem like you care at all."
"Well, things aren't always how they seem." I wanted to hug him, to have him hold me the way he had before. I wanted to kiss him, to tell him that I loved him and everything would be alright. But I couldn't. I didn't know how to. I didn't know how things could go back to the way they were.
He solved it for me. "Look, Sammi, I have to go. Sorry. Do you want to walk with me to the food court?"
I felt my heart ripping all over again. Six months ago, I'd held his hand. Six months ago, I'd found out he'd cheated on me after getting drunk. Six months ago, my heart had broken into pieces. Now, I was about to lose him all over again, and I didn't know when I'd see him again.
As we walked over to the food court, he slipped his arm around my waist. I looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking, and then, I slipped mine back around his. He kept looking straight ahead, and I'd glance up at him every once in a while. He finally said, with a laugh, "Sammi, you're giving me that look again."
I laughed nervously. "What look?"
"The look you've only given me once before, when we-"
"Oh, that look? Oh, shut up. I can't help it." I looked up at him again, couldn't help myself. He checked his phone.
"Oh, look at that. I have a few extra minutes. I'll walk you back to your friends."
I guess I kept giving him the look, because when we got halfway to the Belk again, he looked down at me, pulled me into his arms, looked at me, and we kissed. Ohmygosh it was amazing. Told me everything I needed to know, in those five seconds, I was his again. It wasn't a French, wasn't invasive, wasn't anything that anyone except me would consider special. It told me how much he'd missed me, how much he still cared, what he'd do to be with me again.
After what felt like an hour, but I know wasn't even a minute, he pulled away. I looked at him, longing for him. He said, "Well, Sammi, I have to go. I'll see you around sometime, okay?"
"I never want to leave you again, Jake."
"I never want you to. But I have to go. I'll text you, okay?"
"Yeah." As soon as he'd left my sight, I crumpled into one of the chairs in Belk. I had so much going through me, so many emotions. I didn't know what to do with it all. Still don't. Well, I've got to go, I have makeup work to do. I'll try to write more often, and keep you guys updated on Jake and me.
9.13.2011
6.19.2011
6/19/24
I haven't talked to Jake in forever, and I really miss him. We're friends now, but it's been a road to recovery, you know? ANYWAYS...
Remember the guy at school? Michael? We've been together for a while now... :) He's so sweet. Anyways... Schools out for the summer, has been for a while, and I've needed to work on this.
OMG!!! I have... shhhhhh... powers!! I'm not freaking kidding! Alex has them too... We can move stuff through our heads, and I have another one. I can listen in on people's thoughts... But it gives me the creeps so I don't do it.
I was washing the dishes (Yeah, I gotta do that...) and I was pretty ticked off cause my mom and I had gotten in a fight. Well, I sat at the kitchen table, and was wishing that the dishes would wash themselves, and the tap comes on and they start floating through the freaking air! I screamed and they came crashing down. Mom rushed in going "What, what what?!!!" and I was like "Never mind..." cause how are you supposed to explain to your Catholic parents that you have suddenly developed mind powers? Phew. That was a long sentence. Talk to y'all later!!!
Remember the guy at school? Michael? We've been together for a while now... :) He's so sweet. Anyways... Schools out for the summer, has been for a while, and I've needed to work on this.
OMG!!! I have... shhhhhh... powers!! I'm not freaking kidding! Alex has them too... We can move stuff through our heads, and I have another one. I can listen in on people's thoughts... But it gives me the creeps so I don't do it.
I was washing the dishes (Yeah, I gotta do that...) and I was pretty ticked off cause my mom and I had gotten in a fight. Well, I sat at the kitchen table, and was wishing that the dishes would wash themselves, and the tap comes on and they start floating through the freaking air! I screamed and they came crashing down. Mom rushed in going "What, what what?!!!" and I was like "Never mind..." cause how are you supposed to explain to your Catholic parents that you have suddenly developed mind powers? Phew. That was a long sentence. Talk to y'all later!!!
5.13.2011
5/13/24
I'm really sorry that it's been so long. Jake and I broke up. It's a REALLY long story. I miss him so much. Okay, it went like this.
*************
It was in March. My parents finally called, and said they wanted me to come home. I refused, cause they had ignored my existence for God knows how long. They did NOT like that. SO, they called the cops and reported me as missing. The cops traced their call, came and picked me and Alex up, and deposited us with my family.
My parents learned about Jake when the police checked into who we were living with. I guess I understand that they would be concerned. I mean, their 16 year old daughter was living with a 19 year old boy. Never good in parental opinions. So, we fought about it until late March. I was totally grounded. I got sick of it, so I finally agreed to break up with him, but I wanted to see him when I did it. But, NO, they made me call him over the phone and do it. I cried the entire time.
A few days later, I texted him, and you know what? He told me to move on. He told me to date someone else. He told me to basically go away and live without him. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?????? I love him so much. I mean, how do you live with out someone that you lived WITH???
I feel kinda horrible, but I have a crush on this guy that goes to school with me. I've talked to him before, not much, but enough. He's asked me out before, and likes me too. I guess I'm afraid to date people now that my parents are freaks. His name is Michael. Dreamy. :)
I still love Jake, don't get me wrong. It's so hard though, cause I like Michael. I'm starting to love Michael too. Maybe I SHOULD move on. But I really don't want to. And Jake, when you read this, I want you to know I love you unconditionally, and always have, and always will.
The scary thing is? I don't age. So I'm gonna be stuck with them. Though, legally, when I've "lived" a total of 18 years, I'm free. So, that's a bright spot.
*************
It was in March. My parents finally called, and said they wanted me to come home. I refused, cause they had ignored my existence for God knows how long. They did NOT like that. SO, they called the cops and reported me as missing. The cops traced their call, came and picked me and Alex up, and deposited us with my family.
My parents learned about Jake when the police checked into who we were living with. I guess I understand that they would be concerned. I mean, their 16 year old daughter was living with a 19 year old boy. Never good in parental opinions. So, we fought about it until late March. I was totally grounded. I got sick of it, so I finally agreed to break up with him, but I wanted to see him when I did it. But, NO, they made me call him over the phone and do it. I cried the entire time.
A few days later, I texted him, and you know what? He told me to move on. He told me to date someone else. He told me to basically go away and live without him. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT?????? I love him so much. I mean, how do you live with out someone that you lived WITH???
I feel kinda horrible, but I have a crush on this guy that goes to school with me. I've talked to him before, not much, but enough. He's asked me out before, and likes me too. I guess I'm afraid to date people now that my parents are freaks. His name is Michael. Dreamy. :)
I still love Jake, don't get me wrong. It's so hard though, cause I like Michael. I'm starting to love Michael too. Maybe I SHOULD move on. But I really don't want to. And Jake, when you read this, I want you to know I love you unconditionally, and always have, and always will.
The scary thing is? I don't age. So I'm gonna be stuck with them. Though, legally, when I've "lived" a total of 18 years, I'm free. So, that's a bright spot.
3.12.2011
2/25/24
The concert rocked :) Well, as much as a church concert CAN "rock"... Me and Jake held hands, didn't kiss though, plenty of time for that at the house when Alex is asleep... >=D Haha. Plus, it was weird enough when some lady at the church caught us holding hands and acted like we were naughty little kids sharing gum at school or something gay like that... Whatever.
My parents still haven't communicated with me. I think they're trying to forget that I exist still, no matter how retarded my existence. It's so frustrating!! I want to tell my mom everything, I want to be able to talk to her like I'm still ten or thirteen or something. I talk to Alex, when she's awake and paying attention, but it's just not the same as having my mom. Not to sound childish, but I MISS MY MOMMY!!! And then there's the fact of my dad's never met Jake. Isn't that a key part of having a boyfriend during your teenage years? Having your dad sort of jokingly warn your boyfriend to keep himself to himself? Urgh.
Alex is fine. She's kinda comatose-ish still, though, not sure when she'll have full dexterity. Somehow, during the mummification process, I skipped the slow and sluggish part of being a meatsicle. Alex caught it, but like, delayed. She wasn't slow at first, she just seemed kinda sleepy, which is how she always is. But then her movements got kind of stiff and erratic, and she stopped doing much of anything but sleeping. So, again, talking to her is not the most enlightening experience ever.
Jake. Where do I begin? He's as amazing as ever, always willing to go out and grab foundation and stuff for me when I need it, cause zombies are getting less and less publicly accepted, so I have to dye my hair every once in a while so its not quite so... lifeless looking. I know, horrible pun, but its true! Also, I have to wear "B-Alive" foundation, now specially produced by pro-zombie companies, so we can go out in public. EXTREMELY helpful. Back to Jake. We hardly ever fight, but I got my heart crushed this morning, when he made a confession. Actually, at the moment, I'm refusing to talk to him.
He came to me this morning, during breakfast when it was just me and him, and said, "Look, Sammi, I have to tell you something." Him and this girl had a fling a few days ago, and he felt horrible about it, and he was drunk or something, and didn't even know what happened until two days ago when she called him to follow up. He told me everything, and I told him I needed to think about things. What's your opinion? What should I do? Should I take him back? I want to forgive him, oh, my gosh, I want to act like it never happened, especially since he's never done anything like this before, never even flirted with other girls, as far as I know. I think I'm gonna give him one last chance, cause after all, he DID tell me about it, and didn't hide it, and UGH!!! I guess I'd better go talk to him about it, we need to work this out, cause it's our first fight ever. Well, the first serious one. Everything else was like, get out of my bathroom, don't shave in my sink, yada, yada, yada.
My parents still haven't communicated with me. I think they're trying to forget that I exist still, no matter how retarded my existence. It's so frustrating!! I want to tell my mom everything, I want to be able to talk to her like I'm still ten or thirteen or something. I talk to Alex, when she's awake and paying attention, but it's just not the same as having my mom. Not to sound childish, but I MISS MY MOMMY!!! And then there's the fact of my dad's never met Jake. Isn't that a key part of having a boyfriend during your teenage years? Having your dad sort of jokingly warn your boyfriend to keep himself to himself? Urgh.
Alex is fine. She's kinda comatose-ish still, though, not sure when she'll have full dexterity. Somehow, during the mummification process, I skipped the slow and sluggish part of being a meatsicle. Alex caught it, but like, delayed. She wasn't slow at first, she just seemed kinda sleepy, which is how she always is. But then her movements got kind of stiff and erratic, and she stopped doing much of anything but sleeping. So, again, talking to her is not the most enlightening experience ever.
Jake. Where do I begin? He's as amazing as ever, always willing to go out and grab foundation and stuff for me when I need it, cause zombies are getting less and less publicly accepted, so I have to dye my hair every once in a while so its not quite so... lifeless looking. I know, horrible pun, but its true! Also, I have to wear "B-Alive" foundation, now specially produced by pro-zombie companies, so we can go out in public. EXTREMELY helpful. Back to Jake. We hardly ever fight, but I got my heart crushed this morning, when he made a confession. Actually, at the moment, I'm refusing to talk to him.
He came to me this morning, during breakfast when it was just me and him, and said, "Look, Sammi, I have to tell you something." Him and this girl had a fling a few days ago, and he felt horrible about it, and he was drunk or something, and didn't even know what happened until two days ago when she called him to follow up. He told me everything, and I told him I needed to think about things. What's your opinion? What should I do? Should I take him back? I want to forgive him, oh, my gosh, I want to act like it never happened, especially since he's never done anything like this before, never even flirted with other girls, as far as I know. I think I'm gonna give him one last chance, cause after all, he DID tell me about it, and didn't hide it, and UGH!!! I guess I'd better go talk to him about it, we need to work this out, cause it's our first fight ever. Well, the first serious one. Everything else was like, get out of my bathroom, don't shave in my sink, yada, yada, yada.
2.26.2011
2/24/24
I have GOT to update more often... Haven't had much time, and nothing has really happened. We've settled into a routine for things, with me and Alex studying on the computer, taking highschool courses, almost 24/7. We both want our diplomas, and GEDs, so that we can take college courses next. I've almost finished my sophomore year's worth of work. Before you freak, I have a lot of time on my hands, and I don't NEED to sleep. I just do for the heck of it sometimes. Uh... Me and Jake are hanging out again tonight, going to some concert at his church. I'll need to run and get some foundation so I can possibly pass for human. Last thing I need is to be recognized as the undead at a church. <shudder> That would be nothing short of a nightmare... Bye!!!
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